Speedo. The word alone makes the average American man blush. But why as a society do we fear those little pieces of Spandex when other cultures (primarily European and African) proudly sport these suits?
In lieu of the warm weather, I am proposing a new outlook for Summer 2010: THE SPEEDO. Come on guys, grow a pair and let them hang out. Not convinced? Here are some benefits to wearing a S-Suit:
- Speedos allow you to show off the body you’ve worked so hard on at the gym. Are you packing on a few extra LBs in the stomach/thigh area? Although I am not typically an advocate for “letting oneself go”, don’t let the excess weight hold you back. Self-confidence is what wins over the ladies.
- Speedos are much more sporty than board shorts. If you are swimming for exercise or competition, obviously these tight-fitting briefs will allow for optimal performance. Even if you fail to excel competitively in the water, why wouldn’t you rock the jock to look like one?
- I can only imagine that Speedos are more comfortable than other swimming options. You won’t be weighed down in the water with your baggy shorts. You don’t have to pull down a Speedo in the midst of water skiing/boarding, and once on land they won’t bunch up between your thighs as you walk around. Perfecto!
- Speedos dry faster. You probably shouldn’t condemn your men to dark, damp places-it seems cold, unnatural, and a breeding ground for shrinkage. Instead try a light, dry sac for those guys. God did.
- Although I don’t promote tanning and skin cancer, I must admit that the majority of the population looks better slightly bronzed. What doesn’t look hot: ugly white tan lines on hair thighs. Barf. Speedos will definitely help eliminate this problem.
- Lastly, let’s not neglect the fact that men love looking at attractive women in tight clothes. As a result, we slim down and shimmy into bearly-there bikinis…who let you fools off the hook? You already don’t have to bear and milk the children, so I say the least you can do is empathize with our body issues by wearing something lady-sized.
Don’t be a schmuck. Real men wear speedos, so should you.